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  • Jovana Miletic

Why New Year’s Resolutions Are Pointless And How To Avoid Them




2017 propelled me from my rather stifling and predictable life into an entirely alternate reality that I am still figuring out how to orientate myself within. Of course, well aware I’m a master of my own fate, I know that I initiated it all, and have no one to praise or blame for where I’ve ended up but myself. In 2017 I moved to another country, questioned my desire to continue the career I chose for myself, felt the pangs of love, and started a process of gutting out the “baggage, fears, and doubts vault” in my head. All activities that made living at times a little too visceral, unbearably bright, and more often than not harshly real, stripping away any illusory fantasy world I was caught up in. Basically a whole lot of ice water, and slaps in the face that kept me steadfastly living in the moment. As time passed however, I realised that it’s the only way to live, to grow and to feel truly alive. It’s also the only place from which to make solid decisions and take action. I came to the conclusion that I’d rather be repeatedly shocked back into reality than revert into a numbed out fear driven existence that led me to live the last few years with eyes wide shut and, sadly, wasted my time. This fear is unfortunately also the common denominator amongst my peers that leads them to make desperate scrambles to change their lives at the close of the year instead of every morning when they wake up.


This awakened state of being is what living is all about, and unfortunately, it is the one thing we all fight our hardest to stay away from, despite its pull on us. Despite us knowing it’s how we truly want to live. Not drown out our emotions, needs and desires but “take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.” We’ve all had glimpses of it. But how do get to that place? How do we maintain it, and eventually, thrive from it when there is an initial wall of fear that stalls us?

For me, the answer lies in avoiding a New Year’s resolution in 2018. Infact, I will consider myself slipping if I ever make an annual resolution ever again. Making a New Year’s resolution implies there are things you failed to achieve, and even worse, that you didn’t give conscious thought to until you found yourself on the precipice. Resolutions are a sudden awareness of where you stand at the end of the year, they imply that you have not been self aware for most, if not all of the time. So what I’m getting at is this; every day should be a self assessment day. A day of working towards something. A day of filtering thoughts and emotions so you truly know what step you need to take next. If you do this, annual resolutions are rendered superfluous as you are constantly on track with yourself and what you need and want. It’s about approaching every new day with practiced focus and ease.

It’s about living in the moment.


So how do you do live in the moment and avoid desperate New Year’s resolutions?

  • Get to know your adult self. We knew ourselves when we were kids then we spent our teens and young adult lives getting knocked about by others and collecting baggage. Aligning the inner child with the adult ensures success in living a content life.

  • Hold council with yourself on a daily basis. Usually we think up NY resolutions when we want to change or improve something that has been nagging at us. Checking in regularily ensures you filter negativity, align with your needs and wants, and stay focused all year round.

  • Realise there is no such thing as a ‘break.’ Know the difference between a choice made for the purpose of escapism and a choice made in line with your true needs. If you act inline with your needs you will never feel the urge to ‘take a break.’ Every day will be rewarding unto itself.

  • Accept that, no matter where you run, your problems will follow you. So face them now! Filter through them until you are no longer burdened by them.

  • When everything falls apart, let it. It’s from rock bottom where you forge your purpose and newfound strength.

  • Self pity breeds apathy and inaction. Snap out of it asap

  • Just do it. If you know what you want start working on getting it straight away.

  • Stay in reality, don’t numb out. Numbing out further drains you as you are in effect cutting away and dismembering yourself from yourself. It is a shutting down of the system, not a boosing of it. You can’t work on what you want when you can’t tell youself what you want or lack focus to do it.

  • Don’t look too far ahead into the future. It ruins everything! You can’t have all the answers to your questions by looking ahead. Trying to predict things is a migraine waiting to happen. It it very counter productive, as it adds unnessessary preasure to your life. One step at a time is the best medicine to combat any fear or doubt. One step at a time keeps you in the moment. Lets you breath and appreciate where you are and what you have in your hands.

Find resolve in the day that you awaken to and work from there. As it’s all too late when you finally open your eyes just at the close of the year. We might all start out as Hamlet, but like him, we must act, not cower in the corners of our consciousness, desensitizing with daily dosing of mind numbing activities until its too late. Living in the real world is where it’s at. So…


No New Year’s resolutions!

© 2018 by Jovana Miletic

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