When Enough Is Enough
This is a call to arms.
Enough is enough the first time round.
Have you ever been told by a friend that you’re a sucker for punishment? Have you ever heard that little voice in your head say “okay, I’ve had enough of this now, come on, walk away…why won’t you walk away?!…damnit walk away!” but just couldn’t?
When Enough Is Enough Is Enough This is a call to arms. Because enough is enough the first time round.
Have you ever been told by a friend that you’re a sucker for punishment? Have you ever heard that little voice in your head say “okay, I’ve had enough of this now, come on, walk away…why won’t you walk away?!…damnit walk away!” but just couldn’t? Repeatedly? By the time you hear either of the above or anything similar, you’ve probably spent way too many cycles enduring the same bullshit and have not managed to remove yourself from the unwanted situation. Well what are you waiting for? For someone to save you? Sorry but that won’t happen. Ever. How many more times will you put up with shit before you leave, change your ways, address the issue at hand, move, speak up, defend yourself, be honest, grab what you want, start something? Basically LIVE, live by taking your life into your own hands?
Want to know why you struggle to change your circumstances? Well, there’s simply nothing to it. The answer is; It’s all in your head. You either overthink or avoid thinking about important You stuff all together and live in denial. --- How about you get out of the rut. First off, as a suggestion, it might be useful to assess your level of self esteem, through assessing your feelings of self worth. I’m no psychologist but that seems logical. The number of negative cycles that you allow yourself is a big indicator of your current relationship with yourself. If the number is high, then you have some serious self love issues to sort. Once you’ve started on that things will improve rather drastically. And you can work towards the next stage.
The switch off.
No magic formula. It’s literally a self awareness switch you need to make from the ‘victim’ mentality to one of ‘ownership’. As in “I am the adult, no longer the child. There is no one here to chastise me. Tell me when to go to bed. Regulate my mood, my daily allowance, my activities. I decide for myself what I need and want, what I deserve. I know what my core values are, and only I am in charge of making sure I live by them, because if I don’t, I know I will be bloody unhappy.”
I’ve asked myself why most people stay in the child/victim frame of mind. Perhaps it’s to do with deep down never truly wanting to grow up, perhaps they are spoilt and don’t know how to do anything for themselves, perhaps they had no childhood to begin with, like those child actors, or Michael Jackson! And just never grew up but were lucky enough to have money and have others do the boring life stuff for them, perhaps there was abuse… Whatever it is the reality of the situation is, it’s up to the individual to figure it out. As staying in the perpetual ‘child’ perspective is a highly dangerous game, and it puts one at great risk of living a royally shit life. i.e. Making botched decisions, like those people who marry the entirely wrong person because they’re afraid of being alone and would rather tolerate a toxic relationship than face themselves… Or on a less in-your-face note, those that don’t speak up when they have a great idea at work due to fearing derision, so they don’t speak up at all, and even don’t speak…and don’t and don’t until it eventually pervades all their relationships, “I must be liked, I must not offend.” Then 20 or 30 years later they get a chronic or life threatening illness from keeping all their emotions and true thoughts so tightly woven and locked away that they’ve poisoned themselves from the inside out… Okay that was also a pretty full on example… but it has to be, to wake you up! --- Did you get frightened? I hope so. For fear is a friend. Fear of the above or equivalent happening is meant to be used as fuel to get you off your complacent, apathetic arse and moving towards ownership. Grab the bull by the balls, or horns, but grab him and ride that mother till you die. Chances are your mental health will be safer on his back, hair majestically or messily flapping in the wind, while you blaze down the streets of spain or wherever, than it will be with you on your arse, mute and disillusioned by the circumstances in which you find yourself until you slowly, painstakingly wither away and die… rather unremarkably. You might live a long life, but what’s the point of that when it will be riddled with fear, resentment and regret. The three R’s. All because you didn’t take ownership of your life. That’s right. Your life. Perhaps you thought you had no choice, or didn’t realise that you put yourself there on your arse. But they’re all excuse aren’t they? At the end of the day you know what it comes down to, and you also know that only you can bloody well get yourself up, out and living.
That’s it! Be angry! Swear! Swearing is also part of the English language ( any language!) it has a purpose. Its purpose is for expressing our utmost heightened states and emotions. Swear words are important tools for release. So yeah your inner dialogue should go something like this: “FUCK! I’m not bloody fucking doing my life justice at present. Fuck you self for being such a little bitch. I’m done with your bullshit. Cmon, (pat self on the back now) let’s go eat that fucking pizza, and get that guy or girl, moon the moon, go travelling, tell that dude thats been harrasing me to shove it, tell my moronic partner to sod off, apologies to my friend, boss, father for being a brat all those times that I secretly feel guilty about because I didn’t apologies, I’m voting against that idiot that’s ruining my community, I hate my job and would rather take a year off from saving for that stupid white picket fence that I don’t need or want right now anyway! I’m letting go of the fact that I’ve invested years into something because actually I don’t want it anymore. I’m going to move to Alaska to be with that person I value, love and respect.”etc… As an example. --- The period when we are in our teens is a time for rebellion, for breaking free, for self discovery, for acting courageously, and spontaneously…At least that is what all those raging hormones want you to do. The trick is that the spirit of youth is what needs to stay with us as we mature, along with the inner child’s ‘lightness of being’. As we get by and life experience starts to gather, it should only help us make better decisions. Furthermore, life experience is only considered “baggage” when you’ve done something wrong, or look at it as a burden. Even in regards to those moments that you truly didn’t create, that just “happened” to you, even those must not be looked at from a victim perspective. Those events, luckily for us in the western world, are so few and far between. Most of the time life is our oyster, and it’s up to us to grow up and take the reins, becoming the mother and father over our own lives. --- So, Fuck it and ask yourself why you have the need to place an authority figure over you and let life happen to you. Switch into a state of ownership by asking yourself what you want then actively pursue it. It’s not rocket science. Stop overthinking, it’s just another excuse you’ve made to stall starting. Think, by all means, spend a period of time in stillness and inaction in order to figure out what you want. All these motivational speaker dudes that talk of “go go go” are full of shit. We need down time in order to get up. Just don’t overthink. It’s about the statement Nike adopted “Just do it”. Just start somewhere. Love yourself, say fuck off more often, and switch into a state of ownership. Keep the inner child healthy and alive by being the adult. The inner child, in its full potential, is a positive force that provides faith, hope, lightness of being and curiosity. The inner child is not a victim. Parent yourself, protect your spark and you’ll no longer feel things are out of your hands. Some are, but they are to be accepted as part of life. Life is unpredictable so stop trying to control it, because you will fail. Finally, act on the thought “Enough!” the first time round instead of the fourth! :)
I hope you’re armed now!