Whenever we think of New Year's resolutions, goal setting or vision boarding we think of the areas of our lives that need to be improved upon or changed. Like our fitness, finances, body shape, health, and habits. All the stuff we’d put off comes flooding in and we get sent into a frenzy writing down our goals and setting action plans (well, some of us). Then we wait for the new year to role in, and for the start date to activate us into action.
Ever wonder why a lot of the goals we set fall short, never ingrain themselves in permanency, or are given up on before we even start?
What stops us is a vital albeit silent step, much like the air we breathe, without it, no matter how hard we try, our lungs would stay empty and we would die. And this step is called “the reality check.” And it comes when we stop. Sit down. Wait for the silence to seep into our busy minds. And ask ourselves one question: “What reality am I living right now?”
Now, you might be thinking “Hold on, I know my reality, that's how I know what’s missing.” Well, you (might) know what’s missing, but in order to get there, you need to know exactly what you have, and what you lack in that moment in time and space.
Furthermore, if you do this step first, you might actually completely change the goal that you set out to achieve. Because when you spend those reflective hours examining your circumstances, you may discover you already have what you thought you didn't, and that your real goal and need, lies elsewhere. Brain twister?
An example of what this step might look like is this: you want to quit smoking and you’ve given yourself a fortnight to do it. You’ve read Alan Carr’s The Easy Way To Stop Smoking and think you're ready to start. But you decide to sit and analyse your reality first. In doing so you discover that you didn’t consider the fact that you smoke two packs a day, your housemates smoke, there are no no-smoking restaurants in your area, and that you are really stressed at the moment because of deadlines at work. Do you think you can honestly quit within a fortnight and stay on track for good within these circumstances? Unless you’re The Terminator, the answer is probably “not really.”
Any real transformation begins with silence, followed with observation, then with acceptance.
Once you face your reality as it is, you can formulate a realistic strategy for how to achieve perfectly aligned goals, and live a life transformed. As Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard, put it:
“life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”
Good luck.