As a Public Speaking and Communication coach, I often get asked how to deal with anxiety when it hits, in the moment, during a high stakes situation like important meetings, presentations or performances. There is a lot of advice on how to handle or process stress in general, but little on what to do on the spot when brain fog sets in, profuse sweating, stiffness in the body, racing heart and overwhelming fear take hold.
I can tell you it’s no easy feat dealing with anxiety. However, I can confirm that it’s doable through a few techniques and steps. This has proven to work time and again for my students and I.
Here is what I tell my students. As far as I see it there are three categories of approach: Pre-Performance Prep, Daily Work, and On-The-Spot strategies.
The most important thing to note is that your ability to successfully deal with stress on the spot is exponentially improved when directly related to the accumulated work you do daily. So this article will discuss both categories of Pre-Prep and On-The-Spot. You can find out more about daily work in the future articles. Let’s go!
Pre-Prep
Pre-prep is what you do from the moment you book your event up to the moment of your event.
Prepare yourself: know your stuff back to front and sideways. Knowledge is power so leave no stone unturned, no potential question unanswered, or unanswerable.
Accept your worst case scenario: This approach will loosen you up and give you a “nothing to lose” state of mind which will free you up to play on the day. This is an exercise invented by the Stoics and works very well. Imagine your worst case scenario where everything that can go wrong, does. I guarantee you nothing can compare to your imagination. And this is a comforting thought, since you’ll realise that reality is a far safer place. Imagine it happening to you, then identify the underlying fear behind it; Ridicule? Rejection? Dismissal? Realise it is a trauma most often rooted in childhood and need not influence you in the present.
Back up plan: Following this exercise come up with solutions to everything going wrong. If you ask for a raise and they say ‘no’ how will you respond? If the audience doesn’t laugh at your joke, what will you do next? Have a predetermined idea of how you would proceed.
Compromise: If in a meeting, be open and prepared for some compromise; something you would have pre-decided, pre-meeting to compromise on. All meetings, as in life, are about give and take, tit-for-tat, and with every choice, comes compromise.
Breathe: Do a breathing exercise to still your mind like the 4-5-9 one. Inhaling for 4, holding for 5 then exhaling for 9 before your event.
Put the horse blinders on: Focus yourself on your desired outcome, the key message you wish to convey. Remind yourself of these before the start of your event.
So, assuming you’ve thoroughly prepared yourself and your presentation, here’s what to do if anxiety still sets in during the event...
On the Spot
Finally, we get to the main event: On-the-spot. This is the essential survival tool kit if fear begins to take hold. Here is a step by step breakdown in order of activity:
Focus in on your Breathe. it’s the first thing that goes. So, go internally for a few beats to re-centre yourself. Making sure you are breathing and not holding your breath, because you probably are. It’s a fight or flight response and it's automatic. So check in with yourself, because the reason your brain is fogging and your anxiety is rising is because you’re not breathing properly.
Accept what’s going on with you. If frazzled, accept it. If you freak out over freaking out it will be a disaster. So process it and then…
Refocus yourself on your message. The message is key, and you have a job to do. If left without a goal your brain will be free to roam. Give it a task. Refocus on your desired outcome. To inform, to win over, to entertain, to negotiate, etc.
Remember you’re safe. It’s a game of chess and tit-for-tat (your life is not in danger), tell yourself that you are safe. Worst case scenario, you get a little egg on your face. No death involved.
Take your power back. In this scenario you have given away your power to someone else. Seeking validation from outside yourself. When we are in a state of powerlessness, we depend on others to validate, approve, help, support, save, or guide us. It is a victim stance that you have adopted, and no one can help themselves when in this state. Remind yourself of what you have come to achieve, and take hold of the reins again.
Lead, don’t wait. Whether you're presenting, entertaining or in a meeting defending your job, take the lead on what you wish to achieve. Don’t wait to be led, or told. If you flub your lines, incorporate it into your speech or move on. The audience didn't laugh when you expected them to? Stuff it, move on. If you feel a meeting is being steered in the wrong direction, redirect it to the important points.
Forward momentum. As a lot of the above has indicated, if in doubt, MOVE. “Gallop apace, you fiery footed steeds”. Stagnation is death, so keep moving your speech, conversation, performance forward over and away from any lumpy bits of nervous disaster. Don’t apologize for them. Don’t stop! Don’t give in. Just keep moving.
Notice how the pre-prep paragraph is almost as long as On-The-Spot, well hopefully you can understand why that is. Pre-preparing leads to a much better outcome than does dealing with all this on the spot.
With pre-prep, you’ve done all the hard work, and are self-programmed for greater success in managing things as they come.
So, now that you’re equipped with lots of techniques I wish you all the very best in your communication and public speaking endeavors. If you need more assistance, feel free to contact me for private tuition.
All the best!
Jovana Miletic
About the author:
Jovana has three decades of experience performing, communicating and entertaining live audiences. She has taken her skill as a public speaker and trained actress and applied it to helping business professionals, politicians, entertainers, progress their public speaking and communication skills. For more information on how she can help you, and to book a free trial, email jovana dot voice @ gmail dot com.
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